Breastfeeding
Maggie is 3 months old this weekend and I've kept her alive and growing from my body and my body alone. It's awesome to be able to say that but this journey has been anything but easy.
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From the beginning, I never put the pressure on myself to breastfeed. If I could, then I would. If I couldn't, then formula was great too. Formula was excellent for the twins and I knew it was a huge possibility that I would need it again. But I powered through the first 6 weeks. Everyone tells you it gets easier after the first 6 weeks. But hearing that as a new mom, while my nipples were bleeding and throbbing in pain, was not reassuring.
Those first 6-10 weeks were brutal. I'll be honest here. Having never really gone through with it with the twins, it was a shock to my system and definitely something that took practice. I had SO much pain early on. Cringing and crying as each latch burned and sent electric shocks through my body was a pain unlike what I anticipated. After an appointment with a lactation consultant, I found out that MJ had/has a pretty recessed chin and my latch was creating more of a problem. With a few tips and some magical nipple serum from the Holistic Pharmacy in town, things began to get better with each feed.
Looking back, it all went by fast but in the moment, those long nights seemed to drag on and last forever. Since then, breastfeeding has been great. Exhausting at times, but so great. I've had moments of bonding with Maggie that I didn't feel/ get with the twins. My body has regulated and knows when MJ is ready to eat. The human body is INSANE. Amiright?
I started my call shift back to work in the middle of July. I've been able to get a great supply going in the freezer for the nights I am called in. Again, something I never had with the twins. She doesn't seem to take a bottle very well, but being the nice 'plump' size she is, my pediatrician said she's not worried if she skips a meal and might skip one because of not liking the bottle. Again, one of those things we will have to practice. Luckily, I have a very patient husband who is the one that bottle feeds her so I don't have to worry about it.
Breastfeeding in public is a pretty hot topic on social media. I haven't ever felt uncomfortable about it and am still pretty awkward at it. The biggest struggle for me was ( and still is) finding clothing that worked. I was at my in-laws and needed to feed MJ in a dress that was totally NOT nursing friendly. Thankfully I was in a comfortable place I could have privacy and it wasn't an issue that I was sitting with my dress around my neck but lord help me if I was out and about. It's like wearing a romper out, you know eventually you will be butt naked in the bathroom. I know some women are comfortable flaunting the boob, and I really think that is awesome... more power to you and I salute you. I feel more comfortable with a cover and I've been using the ones from Bebe au Lait. I found its light weight, easy to see MJ and really covers well.
I won't leave you with any advice really, if you are a mama-to-be. It's hard to give advice strongly one way or the other because every BODY and PREGNANCY are different. I have my experiences from both sides and that's all I can speak to. But with that, I'll give my (unsponsored) opinion on my favorite nursing friendly bra. It's from HATCH and it's seriously changed my life. So comfortable AND supportive, which was hard for me to find. It's a little pricey but so so worth it friends. And I will definitely wear it far after I'm done breastfeeding.
I will say, this babe is VERY flexible when it comes to feeding time. She has been schlepped around the house, chasing potty training toddlers, still attached to my boob. This meme has never been more real to me:
I've given myself goals with breastfeeding and my first one was 3 months. Having almost made it there, I'm damn proud. The next one is 6 months. But again, not putting pressure on myself. That's why they are goals and not hard stops. From the stories I've heard, some babies decide when they are done.
To the mama's who have had this journey and seen it end or are having it currently, I am totally inspired by you. Thank you for being an inspiration and for the time spent feeding a tiny human from your body. To the mama's who tried and felt like a failure when they couldn't, DON'T. You grew a human. You kept that human alive the best way you knew how. You made sure that human had a mama that was strong, healthy and sound of mind, body and soul. I am also inspired by you.
I'm working on another blog post about feeling outnumbered (3 vs 1). My life has felt that way lately. Look for that in the next month :)
Until then,
Lauren
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