Why are we as Mom's so critical of ourselves?  Why do we seek the approval of others and instead just seek the peace of knowing parenting is hard and things will never be perfect.

There are days I honestly think, "I need to be interacting more with my babies, teaching them more, reading to them multiple times a day, taking more pictures, taking them on more outings, etc."  Why do I feel the need and pressure to do these things 23 out of the 24 hours a day?  That's obviously an exaggeration.  I've just been having these feelings lately, especially the older my babies get.  I like to think about the activities we will do once they can talk, listen and interact more like going to the Zoo, movies, doing arts and crafts, etc... I try not to wish time away, but I'm excited for these days!

I was sick this week, along with Emmy, and it was the first time we experienced vomit (that wasn't spit-up) with the babies.  I got sick at work and came home only to find out Emmy also had been sick.  It breaks your heart to see your little ones sick.  Mostly because they don't know what's going on.  She was so brave and fearless.  She mustered through that rough night and didn't even bat an eye the next morning.  I kept looking at her throughout the day and thinking, "she probably feels as crappy as I do" but she sure didn't act like it.  She was still smiley, played with her toys, ran around the house, and I couldn't help but think, how much of a bum am I?  (Just kidding, but for real... Babies are resilient).

I've felt somewhat at a loss for words with social media lately and I'm thinking of trying another hiatus.  I want those of you to know that even if I stop posting pictures there, I will always try and find the time to be here.  I feel it's important to share our lives, especially with those of you who don't see us often.

Thanks for your prayers and support.  They really do mean the world to my family and I.

Pictures to end the blog right...

Lauren

This snow suit was my mom's when she was a baby.  She kept it in great condition and now Emmy wore it!  It's a little tight on her, but still, it was amazing to see something like that be passed down through the generations.

Disclaimer:  Bennett did not drink the RedBull.  He did love throwing it on the drive way and carrying it around with him.  These tiny humans.  They really do just want to be like us!

See you all in February!

Warp Speed

Since it's been awhile since I've done a true update on the twins, this post is for them!  And for you who follow along and are wondering just how well they are growing.

E m m y   L o u...

21.5 lbs and 30" tall

It's amazing how much she has grown in the past few months.  She's always been smaller than Bennett, except right at birth.  She is my calm, sweet observant child.  She's content playing by herself and doesn't need much to make her happy.  But when she is upset, you know something is wrong (either she's sick, tired or hungry) and you can't blame the girl.  She takes her brother's rough-housing pretty far and can always find another toy when he inevitably takes one from her.  She is SO good at eating, and surprises my sometimes with how much she can fit in her tummy.  Her favorite word right now is "ba", which we know as "ball" but she pretty much uses it as a name for a bunch of things.  Emmy has been able to pick up on the baby sign language for "all done" and uses it in more situations than just eating, which is hilarious.  Emmy LOVES music and could carry my phone playing music around for HOURS and be content.  Today after her 5 shots, the only thing that cheered her up besides me holding her was music, specifically The Lumineers.

B e n n e t t   M a t t h e w...

23.2 lbs and 30.5" tall

Buddy Bennett is my rough and tough cuddler.  I would say that because the boy can play for hours running around, falling down, throwing balls, smacking into things, stealing toys from Emmy, but he will always love a cuddle session at least once a day and it melts my heart.  For the first time last night, he sat calmly in my lap and let me read him a pretty long book before bed.  It's moments like those I hold onto and love to remember in times of stress.  Bennett is an avid lover of green beans and blueberries specifically but he eats really well for the most part.  He talks ALOT and we can understand a few words from him, "ball, again and done".  Of course since I'm around him all day, I've had the chance to listen closely and know that's what he means.  He's still very young and words are a new concept that he's getting better every day with.  The kid still melts for Winnie the Pooh and still loves having the comfort of a binkie, especially at night.  His favorite room in the house is the bathroom and I think it's because his favorite things to do are brush his teeth and take a bath.

///

We had our 12 month check up today and everything looks great with the babies and their growth charts.  It's crazy getting to a time when the doctor tells you you can start getting rid of using bottles and binkies in the next few months and switch to sippy cups and making dentist appointments.  I'm telling you what, people told me time would go fast... I had no idea it was warp speed.

See ya'll next week!

Lauren, E&B

2 0 1 7

These PEANUTS are always making me smile.

I've always thought New Year's Resolutions are dumb.  I've never actually used those words seriously (I still don't really) but with the start of this new year, I feel the need to live this year better than the last.

I'm trying not to be hard on myself but lets all be honest: there's always room for self improvement.  If you really are wanting to loose weight and that's your thing, you do you.  But for me, it's a little different.

Saying no to say yes.  

I have to learn to say no in my life, although I feel like I say it like 60 times a day at least to B and E.  "Bennett, no.  Don't go up the stairs.  Emmy, no.  Throw food on the ground" Etc...  But what I mean by that is I have to learn to say no to the right things.  I've always been a yes person, wanting to please others and make sure everyone else was okay, before myself.  And that's good... to an extent.  When I became a mom, I had to shift from me wanting to take care of everyone else to me needing to make sure my children were taken care of first.  Believe it or not, that has taken some living and learning.  I've got myself into situations that I really didn't want to do, that took me away from my family, and in the end of the day left me feeling like I wasn't the best mom to my babies.

SO.

With that came my first real New Year's Resolution.  Saying no to say yes to myself, and my family.  Mentally checking in each day with myself and looking forward to the day's plans and asking, "Is this the best use of my time with my babies?  Is this something we NEED to do?  Am I staying healthy for my family by taking time for myself each day to recharge, throw in a workout session, make sure to eat during the day and not just snack on Em and Bennett's leftovers?"  I'll try and update you all on the progress throughout the year, but just know that if I don't get a blog one week here and there, it's because I'm saying no... to say yes.

Still trying to figure out the fascination of stairs for little ones.  It must be that they are right at their height?  I'm not sure... but we definitely should have bought 2 baby gates.  At least they are pretty good at climbing them!  Coming down?  Not so much.

See you all next week!  I'll give a more updated post on the babies!

Lauren, E&B

HBD E & B on NYE

Happy New Year!!! 2017... I can't believe it's here.

I apologize for being absent for the past 2 weeks but I had to put my family first... That makes for a very exciting blog... There's lots to update on this Blog Thursday with the Twins!  We have turned 

O N E

and had a very eventful few weeks!

C h r i s t m a s...

It felt somewhat like the twins 2nd Christmas because of how close they were born to it but no, this year was their first one!  And it was great.  Busy, but great.  We spent the whole time here because I was on call for work but we saw all our family.

Friday night was Alex's extended family Christmas at his parents house.  The babies got to see lots of family and even meet some people for the first time.  Strange to think that even being 1 whole year old, some people haven't met them yet because we have family all across the US.

Christmas Eve was a day spent at home for most of the day.  We went to Church at 4 pm aka the little kid mass.  It was kind of nice to feel like we weren't the only ones with rambunctious kiddos wanting nothing more than to run up and down the aisles.  After mass, we headed for my Dad's where we had a great dinner and opened presents!  I realized in that moment, this was their first Christmas.  Like I said in the beginning, it felt like they were here with us last year.  They were so close.  My dad had cleaned all our old toys that were still in the basement and brought them upstairs.  He had even charged up the remote control car I used to play with!  It was a perfect evening capped off with Alex and I watching "It's a Wonderful Life" in our basement, a tradition one year old for our family of 4.

First Christmas Eve Mass together as a family! 

B, getting a little ahead of himself and unwrapping presents that were not for him. At least he gets the idea.

My sweet LOVES.

Kind of blurry, but the basement was set, complete with wine and cheesecake for a Christmas Eve movie.

Christmas morning we actually had to wake the twins up! We planned on going to Alex's parent's before their morning nap.  So we got them up about 7:15 to bring them down to their first Christmas morning!  We always said we were not going to really get them anything for Christmas this year because they won't know either way.  BUT it's really hard because I was excited to set up the tree for them!  I got them a few little things, nothing huge but I think from now on, Alex and I will do 3 gifts each: something they need, something they want and something educational.  I heard that somewhere and I liked it.

The tree is SET!

Of course nothing got started until they had their bottles.  Priorities. 

Warming up to the new toys... 

Our gift chase ended with a new bench for our front stoop!  It was actually warm enough to sit out there for a brief moment on Christmas day...

We finished up our gifts at our house, got ready and went to Alex's parents for another round of gifts!  The babies took a nap almost right when we got there, which was great timing (thanks E&B) for us to do our gifts first.

Alex's Aunt Alicia and her husband John went to Hawaii and brought back some matching family outfits.  It was so fitting for a very warm (67 degree) Kansas City Christmas!

After a few hours, on to our next stop: Alex's Grandparents.  I told you it was a full weekend!  We planned to eat an early dinner there and open more gifts.  The nice thing about being around family is that Alex and I almost get a little "break" if you will.  There are several other eyes on the babies and we can relax our eyes for a bit.  Even grab a nap!

Emmy and her Godfather, Trey.

Grandpa Keith and the nuggets!

Because why not put them in a box?  It's to funny and the babies will get a kick out of it.

After a long day with family, we headed home to unwind... and ended up having our best friends over to watch a Chief's victory!  It was such a great Christmas weekend.  BUT we were worn out (still kind of are) and I can tell you we are looking forward to a few months of *NO PLANS*.  Let's hope it stays that way.

T h e   T w i n s   A r e   O n e...

The following weekend, our sweet babes turned 1!  We spent the day of their birthday (the 30th) just hanging out with just our family.  I feel that is going to be an important tradition for us from here on out.  I want to always do something fun with them on their birthday.  They will never have school that day and neither will Alex, so making that happen is definitely doable.  We took the babies down to Union Station to see the train exhibit!  They absolutely loved it.  They ran around, watched the toy trains, and took in one of Kansas City's coolest buildings.

I remember people telling me, "Just wait until they walk" as if to say, you'll hate it.  But I have loved it!  It's so great to let them explore and move about like they were meant to.  It's also great for my arms as 40-50 lbs of babies gets pretty heavy these days.

My family came in town that evening and so we party prepped and had pizza with them.  Huge shout out to my cousins Lindsay and Carly for driving my Grandma down for the party and for all their help that weekend.  It meant the world to us!

Saturday, we threw the twins a NYE birthday party!  The day started off rough though.  Bennett woke up at 5:30, just screaming.  Alex and I thought maybe he was just thrown off with all the craziness of the last week and so we started them off with bottles earlier than normal (normally the babes sleep until at least 6:45...).  We got them settled with their bottles but he just didn't seem normal and happy.  He had been battling a cold for the past week or so, so we thought it was just that.  When he wasn't able to be calmed down without us rocking him and holding him, we knew something was up.  Congested, drainage, cough, hadn't pooped all day and had a hard tummy... we needed to call in.  We called the on-call doctor who told us to wait a few hours, due to the symptoms.  But it was already 12:30 and the party was starting at 2.  I knew something was wrong with him so I made the call to bring him into the Emergency Department at Children's Mercy.

He was seen right away and they took one look in his ears and that was it:  raging bilateral (double) ear infection.  The poor guy had been in pain this whole time, and I didn't think ear infection.  The usual signs are tugging on ears, fever, diarrhea or vomiting and he didn't have any of those, which is also common.  They did a tummy x-ray on him, to make sure nothing else was going on and they found a lot of air in there from his crying and getting worked up.  Also, that he was really constipated.  Motrin was given and antibiotics prescribed and we were out the door!  Bennett already started smiling on the car ride home.  He must have known the party was waiting for him.

Right before we left for the hospital.  He wasn't himself.  Drowsy, irritable, slow moving... All things very opposite from Bennett's normal behavior.

This was taken right when we got back from the hospital.  I wanted one family picture on this crazy day before things got carried away.  Bennett was in a great mood from this picture onward... that Motrin really kicked in!

Emmy had no problem bring the star of the party for the first few hours.  She can definitely hold her own this one.

The cakes were made by Amy Mueller, a friend of my mother-in-law, Becky.  She did a great job!  And they were even double layered too!

Safe to say, Bubba loved the cake..

Emmy's "all done" signal

Tons of sweets made by all my friends! If you are interested in having them made for a party for you, just shoot me a comment and I'll give you their information!

Emmy and Grandma West!

SOOOO thankful for all our friends who took the time to come hang out at a Twin's 1st Birthday party on NYE.  Ya'll are BOMB and we love being around you.... and more importantly that our kids are around the stellar people that you are.  

Bubba reppin' his new sneaks from Auntie!

This girl partied all night long... dancing in the kitchen with all our family and friends... with her fur vest to top it off!

Emmy and Carly, my cousin.

Probably my favorite picture to come out of all these.  My 80 year old Grandmother dancing with my 1 year old daughter.  Heart, melting.

Dearest family friend, Nikki, givin' some lovin' to Emmy girl.

Sorry for the picture overload--- but 2 weeks has a lot to pack into this blog.  Once we got back from the hospital, the party went off without a hitch.  Special thanks and shout out to everyone who helped out making food, running out for drinks, cups, picking up balloons, etc... we couldn't have done this party (and this past YEAR) without our amazing friends and family.  From the bottom of my heart, thank you.  I can't say it enough.

I think I've grown up more in these past 365 days than I have in my 26 years of life.  Being a mother of twins, or even a mother at all, has made me more aware, more alert, more present and grounded.  Sure sometimes I want to pull my hair out, but the majority of the time it's great.  Seeing these two sweet loves grow from the size of poppy seeds in my belly, to walking, talking, slobbery humans has been the most incredible thing I've witnessed and been a part of.  Thank you for being interested too and for wanting to read on.  For now, I will continue the blog every Thursday still, while it suits my family.

We had a checkup appointment for Bennett today and an appointment to check on Emmy.  Bennett's ears look better and Emmy doesn't have an ear infection!  We have all been battling the viral crud this week and are hoping things clear up for us by this weekend.

See you next week!

Lauren, Alex, E&B

My ROCK.  I have said this until I'm blue in the face. This man keeps me sane.  Keeps me grounded.  Keeps me whole.  I would not be the mother I am today without him.  I'm so incredibly thankful to have had this amazing year with him and can't wait for the many more ahead of us.  Here's to you, 2017.  Let's make this year the best yet.

New Year's Day lounge session with Auntie.... you can guess what they're watching... rhymes with Binnie the Lou.

Reppin some new clothes and shoes from their birthday and Christmas... these babes are ready for 2017!

PS... Go Chiefs!!!  Special shout out to Kirsten Gleason for these awesome outfits!  They are all geared up for playoffs now!