Call Me Their Referee

Wednesday, July 19, 2017

I know that other moms of multiples can relate to this one.  It sometimes feels like 90% of my day is spent resolving spats, teaching the social skill of "sharing" and comforting the twin that gets the s*** end of the stick, or that didn't find the (insert any toy we have here) first.

Ice cream man came... that was sticky.

Families with multiple children can relate to the ever so troublesome skill called sharing.  It's the nemisis of all kids and the coveted skill of parents.  I remember not wanting to share ANYTHING with my sis Anna (and I'm sorry about that now... for real, love ya Anna).  I'm not sure at what age that changed and sharing not only meant good for Anna but good for me too!  We could share clothes and have almost double the closet!  But we were 2.5 years apart... and when we were younger, that felt like an eternity.  I think having children with an age difference is different.  But I wouldn't know... since I've only ever had twins and they are the oldest, obvi.  Bennett is bigger (by almost 5 pounds now!) than Emmy and I think that can attribute to the fact that he can just take things from her, no problem.  Her response?  Screaming.  At the top of her lungs.  It's super fun.

Teaching them to share has been something I've been working on since they were like 8 months.  Crazy, I know... How the hell do you teach infants to share?  But when both of them would be screaming and crying, and wanting to be held... I would look at both of them and say, "It's just me guys!  One of me.  Two of you.  I'm right here but I can't cuddle you both always."  Staying calm and probably sounding like a crazy person.  But I was implying they needed to "share" me.  I've tried to instill that in them.  And for the most part, they are pretty good about waiting their turn or sharing the parents.  But toys.  Toys are a completely different thing.  And if you think buying 2 of everything would solve that, you are sorely mistaken friend.  Because even if there are 2 of the exact same ball, Emmy's is better and B wants it.

Few tips I've come to learn:

1.  Distraction if your BFF.  When one of the babes has a toy or a rock that the other one wants (because let's be honest, my children think rocks are pretty much the best thing in the world, and I love it and can't wait to say "I remember when you thought rocks were cool" after they ask for an ipad), my usual response is to try and grab the other babe and give them something similar or "cooler".  This works pretty well.

2.  Let them resolve some spats.  I think this one is hard.  Especially for my ears.  Emmy will almost ALWAYS scream.  And loud when Bennett takes something from her.  And we're working on not screaming because its annoying and also alarming, especially when we are outside (poor neighbors).  But sometimes I will just watch over them and somewhere like 15% of their spats they can somewhat work out.  I'm not saying perfectly.  Em will scream and walk away and sometimes distract herself.

3.  Time Out.  We just recently started talking about how time outs would work.  We haven't really had to use them but once, with Em.  Since they are too young to really understand sitting on the step, hers was in her crib.  After a few minutes of screaming and throwing her fit, she calmed down and eventually rejoined the land of civil-ness.  I think this is important though.  Discipline can look so different for so many families, but find what works for ya'll and stick with it.  Your kids will thank you one day.  I promise.

4.  Move Locations.  Sometimes when I sense a spat over a toy, I catch it before it starts and say let's go outside!  Or if we are in the basement, let's all go upstairs and get a snack!  My kids are eat-a-holics.  They would do anything for food.  And it's not like we starve them!  They eat all day, every day.  But that distraction is a good one too.

Anyways... hope this helps someone... if not, hope it was at least entertaining to read.

We are peacing out of the country tomorrow!  Big blog update when we return.

Until then,
Lauren, B&E

With all the Kansas heat, we spend a lot of our days at the library.  It's the best, free and air conditioned, AND almost all of them have kids spaces with more than just books!   Toys too!
The new "forced" smile of Emmy.  My trick?  Ask her to see her teeth.  I hope she keeps this smile forever. 

Workin out with Emmy Lou.  She keeps me young.


Post a Comment

template design by Studio Mommy (© copyright 2015)