A Letter to my Babies

Thursday, September 22, 2016

A blog post for my babies...

Dear Emmy and Bennett,

I am not a perfect Mom.  In fact, I am far from perfect.  But I want you guys to know how happy you make me.

Transitioning from being Lauren, to being married and then diving head first into motherhood has been, busy.  Felt busy.  Although most of those things are fun and have made my life way better, it's challenged me in ways I never thought I'd be challenged.  If I've ever seemed stressed out because of stupid things like a mess made or poop blow outs, please know it was not directed at you.  I was just adjusting to life with you little ones and the beautiful messes that we get to experience.

As you both have witnessed, I've cried with you quite a few times.  This goes back to the "I'm not perfect" phrase.  I think this stems from a place of love mostly, not sadness.  I'm frustrated that when you're both crying, I can't comfortably soothe you guys at the same time.  I dislike when I want to carry you both upstairs, but for safety have to choose one and come back for the other.  Know that I am not choosing favorites, I just take the kiddo who is crying more and will always come back for the second.  Being a mother of twins has been life's greatest challenge for me.

You both have made me stronger, physically and mentally.  I don't know how I do it but I'm able to hold you both if absolutely needed.  It's hard but that strength comes from somewhere.  Probably love.  You both know my weaknesses and yet you still smile at me and laugh with me (or probably at me) and love me just the same.  Seeing you grow makes me heart full but please slow down!  I'm trying to preserve the now and not wish for the future.  It will come, ferociously as ever, and before we know it, we will be sending you guys off to college.

I hope that someday when you're in high school or college you'll read this.  Please accept my apologies for my flaws and mistakes as a mama.  It's such a learning process and I'm not always the best student.  You both have brought more joy into our lives than you will ever know.  Again, I have made many mistakes in the 9 short months you've been on Earth, but I promise you this: I'm learning from each and every one.

I love you both more than you'll probably ever know, but I'll spend my whole life trying to show you.  I'm honored to be your mom.

Your Mama

PS:  What's a blog post without pictures?

One of my new favorite things: you guys looking into the oven....
Or out the front door.  It's just too cute, and has to be done together.
So, you guys LOVE the wagon.
New bath routine: Both at the same time!  Thanks to the laundry basket.
We went to visit Dad at his football game!  And you guys were so great.  
It was hot but you watched the game, ate some grass, and got used to the feeling of sitting on a hill.

So this was the first pic we got from Deanna Rose Farm.  Poor B, was not feeling the photo op.
You guys make such a cute pair.  You don't know it now, but everyone tells you that.

My loves, and I hopped in the picture this time.  
Emmy, you and Auntie make such a pair. 
Bennett and Grandma West

Mesmerized by the fish...
B, you kinda liked the chickens...

What are the odds???
I swear, you were having fun right before I took this.

B, you loved all the animals!  So did your sis.  We will definitely be taking you guys back soon!


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